Gentle Friendshipping

Gentle friendshipping shares much of the same fundamentals as gentle parenting. Rooted in understanding the other with empathy, validation, and problem-solving, gentle friendshipping and gentle parenting may appear similar. However, the main distinction between the two lies in the power dynamics, or rather, lack thereof. As opposed to a parent-child relationship, friendships are generally formed on the basis of mutual social support rather than out of a child’s dependence on a parent for survival, where parents hold the majority of the power.

Studies have supported the notion that the quality and quantity of social relationships may influence overall health and wellbeing. For this reason, keeping friendships alive when presented with unique challenges, such as when both parties are busy, is key. Although time may be limited, approaching the relationship with a supportive and abundance mindset, allowing the other to feel seen at an emotional level, and attempting to resolve issues with a contextual perspective and without judgement to what the other may be going through are core to a long-lasting relationship.

To foster thriving friendships, small gestures, such as checking up on your friend, remembering things they say, and scheduling time to reconnect, may be the lifeblood to your relationship. Sending a text to a friend to ask how they are or sending a funny meme that they might enjoy, shows the other that you are thinking about them. Remembering small details that your friend shares with you, such as their favorite flowers or important upcoming events to them will help them feel seen and supported. Lastly, scheduling time to reconnect in today’s busy world, can look like setting up a FaceTime happy hour or meeting for a quick coffee catch up session and can be powerful in maintaining a level connectedness in the friendship.

Sources:

Holt-Lunstad, J. (2017). Friendship and health. The psychology of friendship.

Walters, A.S. (2024), Gentle Parenting: A new parenting approach? The Brown University Child and Adolescent Behavior Letter